Curiosity is an incredibly important part of childhood, despite how the saying goes. It comes with some health warnings of course – dissatisfaction and the pursuit of ever more knowledge for its own sake are not traits I’d wish for my kids – but cultivating curious minds in your kids will play a hugely positive part in their success.

Curiosity lifts your gaze from yourself, to what’s out there in the world beyond. Curiosity doesn’t tolerate pride because when you look away from yourself, you realise your insignificance in the world – you’re humbled by how small you are in comparison to the depth and complexity of the people and things around you.

Curiosity doesn’t allow for boredom, because it’s always asking the question “I wonder what happens if…”. Curiosity doesn’t let you stagnate. It doesn’t let you draw a line under what you know about something and say that’ll do.

Curiosity also doesn’t let you be a bigot. It doesn’t let you remain steeped in your assumptions and unmoved by the idea that maybe someone or something might surprise you or change your thinking on something.

These are all characteristics I would want for my kids. But how do you go about cultivating more curiosity in their day-to-day lives?

Stephen Hawking advises “to look up at the stars and not down at your feet” to be curious. Looking away from yourself, not settling for what you ‘assume’ is the answer is certainly part of the puzzle. For Hawking and many famous ‘explorers’, that metaphorical idea is easy to put into practice – you’re constantly looking at the world out there quite literally and can remind yourself of how large and mysterious it all is.

Yet encouraging an attitude of curiosity in kids requires something grounded in more regular daily disciplines. The good news is, there’s lots we can do as parents to encourage curious minds even in the youngest of children and it doesn’t require you to get the telescope out.

First, asking my kids questions, really listening to their answers, and following up with questions that include ‘Why…?’ are helpful ways to demonstrate curiosity. It also gets them exercising curiosity themselves and it encourages them to think beyond the perspective of just what they’ve seen or experienced. Kids are experts at asking ‘Why?’, and we should learn from them. They’re naturally curious already and we can take that curiosity to the next level simply by playing them at their own game. Ask them the question ‘Why do you think that is?” and just see where the conversations take you.

Second, giving kids space and freedom to investigate and learn for themselves is essential to them exercising their curiosity muscles. If you’re always available, waiting to jump in with a helping hand or to do things for them, they’ll never get the joy of figuring things out for themselves. Pausing a beat before rushing in to help, allowing them to struggle first and waiting to be asked rather than taking the initiative yourself all help create those small spaces where curiosity can thrive. Giving kids the space to have a go means they have room to ask ‘What happens if…” and develop their sense of curiosity. It’s why GRASP is all about creating the tools to help kids build independent health and hygiene skills.

Third, and I think most importantly in the recipe of encouraging curiosity is promoting kindness. Kindness can be a misunderstood quality. It’s not quite love, and it’s not about being nice or polite. At its heart it’s about being generous with the consideration we give to others. It’s something we teach our kids all the time – encouraging them to empathise, to offer someone else a turn first, to say hello to others and to think about ways to help other’s before thinking about themselves.

Kindness is a praiseworthy attribute of a child all by itself, but it also works subtly to do exactly what Hawking says and take kids’ eyes off themselves. The truth is unkind people are not very curious. No one finds out new information, learns about new people or unpicks parts of human nature if they don’t spare the time to think of others or consider the world of people outside themselves. 

Raising kind kids doesn’t always get the plaudits, it doesn’t make us think of high achievement and genius, but deep down it’s a characteristic without which kids will not reach any of those heights.

Cultivating curiosity is hard work. It won’t happen if you’re totally focused on being hands-off and giving maximum independence for your kids. It won’t happen if you resign yourself to having selfish kids who don’t know how to share because you’ve not demonstrated and continued to show them what kindness looks like. Cultivating curiosity means stepping back to create space while being ready to step in and listen, ask questions, and lead your kids into greater kindness. 

That hard works is the joy and blessing of parenting. It contains its own mystery and only the truly curious parent will make the effort to unlock it in their kids.